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#1
08-09-2008, 09:52 AM
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If I ran for President...
...this would be my "platform".
Got this email the other day, can't say I disagree with much of it. My Presidential Platform (1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned. English is the official language. Speak it or wait at the border until you can. (2) We will immediately go into a two-year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'WalMart' policy: 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' (3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it. (4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (Six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens. (5) Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't getting' nuttin' out. Neither the president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it. (6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade. (7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you will be banned for life. (8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method: The first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There will be no more life sentences -- if you are convicted of a Capitol Offense, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim, gun, knife, strangulation, etc. (9) One export will be allowed - Wheat -- The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil. (10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause. (11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress -- right after a prayer to God. (12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc. Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes, but a vote for me will get you better than what you have and better than what you're gonna get. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The only problem is, we would have to "first kill all the Lawyers", then all the whiny liberal judges or this would be stuck in the courts for centuries. I just love startin' shit on here. 
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Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not.--- Thomas Jefferson 2005 DG MT6 Sport Sedan Premium, MREV2, NISMO R tune CAI, M-45 sport wheels w/Falken TS115, Hotchkis bars, 350Z springs, StopTech Stage II kit, etc. 
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#2
08-09-2008, 12:18 PM
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In the words of Lewis Black... I think we should re-elect Reagan. It's high time this country had a dead president.
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Florida G35 Club '04 BS AT Infiniti G35c•sport•premium•aero•Injen cold air intake•HKS hi-power ti exhaust•Crawford Z plenum•Greddy air diversion panel•Tein 350z H-techs•clear corners•20% Llumar charcoal tint•Bluebatmobile overlays•Kp Technologies window roll up mod•Garmin sp2610
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#3
08-09-2008, 04:53 PM
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you shall be assassinated by a Minority
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08 Blue Slate G37S 6MT - 03 DG G35C 5AT Parting Out & Selling!!! - Team OCGs - Orange County Gs Club http://www.myg37.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=359
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#4
08-09-2008, 05:06 PM
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right after a prayer to god? which one? Xenu, Satan, Buddha, Yahweh, Allah, Jesus Christ, or the father of Jesus Christ?
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I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' mothe*****, mother*****! Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly T.N.T., I'm the Guns of the Navarone!
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#5
08-09-2008, 07:16 PM
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Quote:
Just like the Boy Scouts. You are REQUIRED to believe in a supreme being, not any particular one.
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Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not.--- Thomas Jefferson 2005 DG MT6 Sport Sedan Premium, MREV2, NISMO R tune CAI, M-45 sport wheels w/Falken TS115, Hotchkis bars, 350Z springs, StopTech Stage II kit, etc.
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#6
08-09-2008, 07:27 PM
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Flying Spaghetti Monster counts too, right?
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Florida G35 Club '04 BS AT Infiniti G35c•sport•premium•aero•Injen cold air intake•HKS hi-power ti exhaust•Crawford Z plenum•Greddy air diversion panel•Tein 350z H-techs•clear corners•20% Llumar charcoal tint•Bluebatmobile overlays•Kp Technologies window roll up mod•Garmin sp2610
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#7
08-09-2008, 08:08 PM
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If I ran for president:
1) No Social Security. Everyone will be killed off once they reach 55 years of age. You've already provided all you can for society. 2) All drugs are legal. If you wanna dope yourself up, fine. We'll tax it so hard it will cover any damages during your high. 3) Only women are allowed to cross our borders without papers however, they must look like the chicks on Telemundo or the chicks in the Miss Universe pageant. 4) Total isolationism -- F*ck everyone else. 5) Welfare - There's always work on a farm. grab a shovel, slacker 6) Crime - If someone thinks you did something wrong, they have a legal right to kill you 7) Patriotism - You're a patriot if you stay and make the country better. Leaving this country is an act of treason and is punishable by death. 8) Sports - gambling and enhancement drugs will be made legal. All transactions will be taxed 33% 9) Fvck the children. Education will be provided for free, but if your dumb fvck of a child can't make the grade or is disruptive in class, you and your child will take a ride on the failboat. Retard children will be euthanized. 10) Seperation of Church and State - It's not the government's place to tell you who to pray to.
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I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' mothe*****, mother*****! Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly T.N.T., I'm the Guns of the Navarone! Last edited by slaytan213 : 08-09-2008 at 08:12 PM.
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#8
08-10-2008, 01:44 AM
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Quote:
I like most of these 
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#9
08-10-2008, 01:58 AM
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i love it texas but what happens to all these softy's....can we drop them off on there on GREEN island so they can be happy as they would problaby never leave the island according to there beliefs or ways lol....theyll allow others though to come and take over cause everything is free and dont believe in fighting lol
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4doors can play to..just a little faster so keep up with the set pace haha ----Im a believer....anit-obama-ism
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#12
08-10-2008, 10:46 AM
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Quote:
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. No SS, yes.... Killed off no. "Those that fail to plan, plan to fail" They can die on their own, why waste the manpower. 2. Yes 3. FVCK YES! 4, Not complete, we sell stuff to others only, for a change. Oh, and Coronas, we must have Coronas. 6. Yes, with no more workers coming from the South. 7. No. You become a citizen if you were born here, if you you can read and write, if you have served you country in the military. Then and ONLY then, can you vote. 8. See number 2, this is redundant. 9. Education is free, including college. Those that don't quallify, go to "trade" schools, if they fvck up there, they go to the fields, if they fvck up there, they starve. "he who will not work, let him not eat" 10. Yes, however there will be none of this "no prayer here or there" bullshyt. You will be allowed to pray when and where you wan't with any group you want. Religion will not govern, however.
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Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not.--- Thomas Jefferson 2005 DG MT6 Sport Sedan Premium, MREV2, NISMO R tune CAI, M-45 sport wheels w/Falken TS115, Hotchkis bars, 350Z springs, StopTech Stage II kit, etc. Last edited by Texasscout : 08-10-2008 at 11:01 AM.
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#13
08-10-2008, 02:12 PM
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1 Tell me one thing someone over 55 has done that wasn't the result of a lot of complaining on their part.
8 isn't redundant, it includes gambling 10 The only time you should be allowed to pray in a government owned building is when the building is crumbling around you.
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I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' mothe*****, mother*****! Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly T.N.T., I'm the Guns of the Navarone!
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#14
08-10-2008, 02:27 PM
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lol. good as usual Texasscout.
Quote:
Especially loved this one because it seems so practical.
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You have been banned for the following reason: insubordination, noncompliance to request, disrespect to Mods. Date the ban will be lifted: 11-29-2008, 01:00 PM
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#15
08-10-2008, 02:37 PM
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Quote:
At age 55: Painter Pablo Picasso completed his masterpiece, Guernica. Italian physicist Alessandro Volta invented the voltaic cell. At age 58: Jacob Perkins created a compression machine, paving the way for the invention of gas refrigeration. At age 62: James Parkinson, an English surgeon and paleontologist, described Parkinson's disease. J.R.R. Tolkien published the first volume of his fantasy series, Lord of the Rings. At age 63: Clergyman and writer Jonathan Swift wrote A Modest Proposal, possibly the best satire ever written in English. John Dryden undertook the enormous task of translating the entire works of Virgil into English verse. At age 65: Jazz musician Miles Davis defiantly performed his final live album, weeks before he died. At age 66: Noah Webster completed his monumental American Dictionary of the English Language. At age 69: Canadian Ed Whitlock of Milton, Ontario became the oldest person to run a standard marathon in under three hours (2  47).At age 70: Benjamin Franklin helped draft the Declaration of Independence. At age 77: Grandma Moses started painting. At age 81: After 37 years out of the cockpit, daredevil pilot Mary Victor Bruce flew a loop-the-loop. At age 82: The renowned writer and thinker Johann Wolfgang von Goethe finished writing Faust, with which he had begun experimenting more than 60 years earlier. William Ivy Baldwin became the oldest tightrope walker, crossing the South Boulder Canyon in Colorado on a 320-foot wire. Legendary blues singer Alberta Hunter performed at a Greenwich Village nightclub, making a remarkable musical comeback. James Cagney came back from twenty years of retirement to appear in the film Ragtime. Winston Churchill wrote A History of the English-Speaking Peoples. Leo Tolstoy wrote I Cannot Be Silent. Rita Roherty hit 91 of 100 clay pigeons to take third place in a rifle competition. Venus Ramey balanced on her walker and fired her handgun to shoot out an intruder's tires. Ramey, winner of the 1944 Miss America pageant, confronted the man on her Kentucky farm and disabled his vehicle so he couldn't escape. Okay, I'll stop there, but you get the picture...
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2003.0 Emerald Mist Premium Sport 'Doggy Door' Sedan I have the right to remain silent, just not the ability Need Amsoil/Wix products? PM me
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