So I have this 2003 sedan that is randomly making this scraping sound that sounds just like when you've grounded your bumper going into a dip that's too deep..... the thing is it even does it on completely level ground.

 

Ok
From where

 

Have you looked under your car? Maybe it's your wheel well splash shield or undershroud, it's fallen on me before so it might be that.

 

From the front half - can't pinpoint with any accuracy as it comes on randomly and only lasts less than a second. It's always like WTF was that.

 

you need one of these stickers on the back:

 

Does it happen just after starting the car and moving off? If so, it could be the abs self testing.

 

Made my day Tex. I have an issue like that but it's coming from my front driver side wheel. I'm thinking wheel bearings? Not sure...

 

Not the wheel bearing dude. I've actually just had 2 cars with bad wheel bearings, it's not random. Bad bearings make a droning noise that increases with speed that sounds like bad tires. The speed/frequency relation is linear as you'd expect.

 

Does your steering vibrate? Did you check your brakes to see if you have worn calipers?

 

Is your parking brake stuck? could be its barely making contact and causing the scraping nice that you only hear while going slow?