Raced a Ford Pinto today
#1
12-11-2003, 03:41 PM
Raced a Ford Pinto today
I was at this stop light last night, and I glanced over and noticed this totally dilapidated 1970 Ford Pinto with rusty chrome bumpers, a vulnerable gas tank, and a Greenpeace and "Vote for Nader" sticker on the rusted-out trunk lid. The driver was some elderly guy in his 70s, with geeky glasses, wearing a plaid sport coat; looked like that professor in "Back to the Future".
Anyways, the sight of this car got my testosterones working overtime, and my blood pressure on full boil. I thought I could blow him away, but one never knows what the enemy is packing under that hood. For all I knew, the guy may have had a Chevy short-block V-8 with twin superchargers quietly idling away, waiting for an opportune moment to sneak past an unsuspecting street racer.
To cut to the chase, my ba11s got the upper hand over my drug and alcohol-induced brain, and I revved my G35C up to 7K revs, dropped the clutch, and put my foot into it. For an instant, the rear tires lit-up and began smoking like mad as I grinned in satsifaction at the thought of leaving the Pinto back in the 20th century.
You won't believe what happened next. The motor started bouncing off of the rev limiter, the tires continued to smoke, the car was shaking like a huge vibrator, and just as abruptly as I can say "Holy Ship!", the engine simply cut-out as the electronic engine management system sensed that the driver had lost all sanity.
Imagine the horror, the humiliation, and the anxiety attack, as the car sat still not more than 15 feet from the stop light, as I tried in vain to restart the motor, which by now was smoking something good (or was that just me hallucinating from an earlier bong hit). Five seconds, ten seconds, fifteen seconds go by... still no good. By now, that turd-colored Pinto had a quarter-mile lead on me, as I began frothing at the mouth in sheer anger and agony of defeat. What will I tell my street racer friends?
Well, I'm sober now, and the car is in the shop with an imploded clutch, blown head gasket, and other such minor items that should cost me a pretty penny. But you know, it was well worth it. I can now tell my street racer gang that I blew-up the car while racing and beating a Dodge Viper. Awesome! [img]/w3timages/icons/wink.gif[/img]
RainMeister
'04 G35C 6MT, diamond graphite, premium, nav, aero
Anyways, the sight of this car got my testosterones working overtime, and my blood pressure on full boil. I thought I could blow him away, but one never knows what the enemy is packing under that hood. For all I knew, the guy may have had a Chevy short-block V-8 with twin superchargers quietly idling away, waiting for an opportune moment to sneak past an unsuspecting street racer.
To cut to the chase, my ba11s got the upper hand over my drug and alcohol-induced brain, and I revved my G35C up to 7K revs, dropped the clutch, and put my foot into it. For an instant, the rear tires lit-up and began smoking like mad as I grinned in satsifaction at the thought of leaving the Pinto back in the 20th century.
You won't believe what happened next. The motor started bouncing off of the rev limiter, the tires continued to smoke, the car was shaking like a huge vibrator, and just as abruptly as I can say "Holy Ship!", the engine simply cut-out as the electronic engine management system sensed that the driver had lost all sanity.
Imagine the horror, the humiliation, and the anxiety attack, as the car sat still not more than 15 feet from the stop light, as I tried in vain to restart the motor, which by now was smoking something good (or was that just me hallucinating from an earlier bong hit). Five seconds, ten seconds, fifteen seconds go by... still no good. By now, that turd-colored Pinto had a quarter-mile lead on me, as I began frothing at the mouth in sheer anger and agony of defeat. What will I tell my street racer friends?
Well, I'm sober now, and the car is in the shop with an imploded clutch, blown head gasket, and other such minor items that should cost me a pretty penny. But you know, it was well worth it. I can now tell my street racer gang that I blew-up the car while racing and beating a Dodge Viper. Awesome! [img]/w3timages/icons/wink.gif[/img]
RainMeister
'04 G35C 6MT, diamond graphite, premium, nav, aero
#2
12-11-2003, 03:50 PM
#3
12-11-2003, 04:19 PM
Re: Raced a Ford Pinto today
I don't think we're warrantied against Pintos or Vipers. [img]/w3timages/icons/tongue.gif[/img] LOL
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