The other day i was driving and saw a banana peel in the road and swerved to miss it..... thanks a lot Mario cart!




Thank you TAP OUT for all your clothing products... i can now spot douche bags from 20 yards away.

 

After spying a beautiful blond walking by a man says to God, "God, why did you make blonde's so beautiful?"

God responded, "So you would love her."

"But God", the man replied, "Why did you make her so dumb?"

God replies, "So she would love you."

 

Stolen from another forum..

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge Heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.

The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral........I'm a gynecologist."

The proctologist fainted.

 

lol. keep em comin!