Thanks.

H read it this afternoon and really enjoyed it too.

 

Can't believe how true some of those are.. haha

 

Good one Deane, I absolutely loved it. Priceless

 

Bull**** and Brilliance

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.


The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?'

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.

'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!

Moral of this story....

Don't mess with old farts .. age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bull**** and brilliance only come with age and experience.

If you don't send this to five 'old' friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.

I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more youthfully challenged.



BTW, You did notice the size of the print?

 

^that's a great one Sam!!!

 

Good one Sam.......I had to enlarge it, tho, since you write so small...

LOL, "youthfully challenged"......hahaha, that's me....

C.

 

hahaha..... very good Sam

& thanks Colin, save me from putting on my readers

 

Hey Sam, I loved it and thanks C for making it easy for us OF's . Love the font size

 

That was great! It's true that age and treachery can win out over youth and enthusiasm.

 

The Difference between Potentially and Realistically explained.

For a school project, a young boy went up to his father and said,
'Dad, the teacher gave us an assignment to determine the difference
between potentially and realistically. Can you help me?'

The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your
mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.

Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a
million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from
that.'

So the Boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with
Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' The mother replied, 'Of course I would!

We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you
kids to a great University!'

The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with
Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' The girl replied, 'Oh my God, I LOVE
Brad Pitt. I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?

The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with
Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' 'Of course,' the brother replied.
'Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?'

His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between
potentially and realistically?'

The boy replied, 'Yes... potentially.......you and I are sitting
on three million dollars...........but realistically.........we're
living with two prostitutes and a queer.'

 

Good stuff Deane, laughing so hard it started my own lower unit dilemma!

 

^You're welcome.

Some other great ones on here too. Thanks OAKg.

 

Yes.

 

A Marine and a sailor were sitting in a bar one day arguing over which was the superior service.

After a swig of beer the Marine says, 'Well, we had Iwo Jima.'

Arching his eyebrows, the sailor replies, 'We had the Battle of Midway.

'Not entirely true', responded the Marine. 'Some of those pilots were Marines, in fact, Henderson Field on Guadalcanal was named after a Marine pilot killed at the Battle of Midway.'

The sailor responds, 'Point taken.'

The Marine then says, 'We Marines were born at Tunn Tavern!'

The sailor, nodding agreement, says, 'But we had John Paul Jones.'

The argument continued until the sailor comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says...... 'The Navy invented sex!'

The Marine replies, 'That is true, but it was the Marines who introduced it to women.'

 

Lol. All we good ones. Thanks.