Chuckle for the day - Canada
#47
04-01-2009 | 08:42 PM
There once was an older, experienced Gynecologist who was tired of working with women every day. He had a large bankroll and decided he'd try for quality of life. He decided, that since he was good with his hands and loved cars, he'd try to become an auto mechanic.
Well, he went back to school, worked hard took his final exam.
While he was not worried that he had passed, he was very surprised when his results arrived in the mail and he seemed to have received a passing grade of 150%.
He called his instructor and wondered what had happened? Was there an error? Had he passed? What was his mark?
His instructor replied.
Taking apart the engine was worth 50%, and you did an excellent job.
Putting the engine back together was also worth 50% and once again it was expertly done. Everything was perfectly torqued and spot on.
Then the instructor paused and said. "I felt I had to give you an additional 50% as you completed the entire procedure through the exhaust manifold."
So the story goes, eh.
Well, he went back to school, worked hard took his final exam.
While he was not worried that he had passed, he was very surprised when his results arrived in the mail and he seemed to have received a passing grade of 150%.
He called his instructor and wondered what had happened? Was there an error? Had he passed? What was his mark?
His instructor replied.
Taking apart the engine was worth 50%, and you did an excellent job.
Putting the engine back together was also worth 50% and once again it was expertly done. Everything was perfectly torqued and spot on.
Then the instructor paused and said. "I felt I had to give you an additional 50% as you completed the entire procedure through the exhaust manifold."
So the story goes, eh.
#50
04-01-2009 | 11:20 PM
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 492
Likes: 0
There once was an older, experienced Gynecologist who was tired of working with women every day. He had a large bankroll and decided he'd try for quality of life. He decided, that since he was good with his hands and loved cars, he'd try to become an auto mechanic.
Well, he went back to school, worked hard took his final exam.
While he was not worried that he had passed, he was very surprised when his results arrived in the mail and he seemed to have received a passing grade of 150%.
He called his instructor and wondered what had happened? Was there an error? Had he passed? What was his mark?
His instructor replied.
Taking apart the engine was worth 50%, and you did an excellent job.
Putting the engine back together was also worth 50% and once again it was expertly done. Everything was perfectly torqued and spot on.
Then the instructor paused and said. "I felt I had to give you an additional 50% as you completed the entire procedure through the exhaust manifold."
So the story goes, eh.
Well, he went back to school, worked hard took his final exam.
While he was not worried that he had passed, he was very surprised when his results arrived in the mail and he seemed to have received a passing grade of 150%.
He called his instructor and wondered what had happened? Was there an error? Had he passed? What was his mark?
His instructor replied.
Taking apart the engine was worth 50%, and you did an excellent job.
Putting the engine back together was also worth 50% and once again it was expertly done. Everything was perfectly torqued and spot on.
Then the instructor paused and said. "I felt I had to give you an additional 50% as you completed the entire procedure through the exhaust manifold."
So the story goes, eh.
ngood one! 
#51
04-02-2009 | 08:16 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,619
Likes: 6
From: Nova Scotia, Canada
There once was an older, experienced Gynecologist who was tired of working with women every day. He had a large bankroll and decided he'd try for quality of life. He decided, that since he was good with his hands and loved cars, he'd try to become an auto mechanic.
Well, he went back to school, worked hard took his final exam.
While he was not worried that he had passed, he was very surprised when his results arrived in the mail and he seemed to have received a passing grade of 150%.
He called his instructor and wondered what had happened? Was there an error? Had he passed? What was his mark?
His instructor replied.
Taking apart the engine was worth 50%, and you did an excellent job.
Putting the engine back together was also worth 50% and once again it was expertly done. Everything was perfectly torqued and spot on.
Then the instructor paused and said. "I felt I had to give you an additional 50% as you completed the entire procedure through the exhaust manifold."
So the story goes, eh.
Well, he went back to school, worked hard took his final exam.
While he was not worried that he had passed, he was very surprised when his results arrived in the mail and he seemed to have received a passing grade of 150%.
He called his instructor and wondered what had happened? Was there an error? Had he passed? What was his mark?
His instructor replied.
Taking apart the engine was worth 50%, and you did an excellent job.
Putting the engine back together was also worth 50% and once again it was expertly done. Everything was perfectly torqued and spot on.
Then the instructor paused and said. "I felt I had to give you an additional 50% as you completed the entire procedure through the exhaust manifold."
So the story goes, eh.That one has been posted here a few times but always good for a laugh!
#53
05-01-2009 | 07:25 PM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 30,341
Likes: 9
From: Cambridge, Ont. Canada
#54
10-21-2009 | 06:23 PM
The Robot Bartender
A guy goes into a bar and there is a robot bartender. The robot
says, "What will you have?" The guy says "Martini." The robot brings
back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini".
Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves,but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50."
The robot leans in real close and says, "So... you gonna cheer for the Leafs again this year?"
(this joke dedicated to InTgr8r, cuz he's 'special')
says, "What will you have?" The guy says "Martini." The robot brings
back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini".
Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves,but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50."
The robot leans in real close and says, "So... you gonna cheer for the Leafs again this year?"
(this joke dedicated to InTgr8r, cuz he's 'special')
NM 
#58
10-21-2009 | 11:20 PM
There once was an older, experienced Gynecologist who was tired of working with women every day. He had a large bankroll and decided he'd try for quality of life. He decided, that since he was good with his hands and loved cars, he'd try to become an auto mechanic.
Well, he went back to school, worked hard took his final exam.
While he was not worried that he had passed, he was very surprised when his results arrived in the mail and he seemed to have received a passing grade of 150%.
He called his instructor and wondered what had happened? Was there an error? Had he passed? What was his mark?
His instructor replied.
Taking apart the engine was worth 50%, and you did an excellent job.
Putting the engine back together was also worth 50% and once again it was expertly done. Everything was perfectly torqued and spot on.
Then the instructor paused and said. "I felt I had to give you an additional 50% as you completed the entire procedure through the exhaust manifold."
So the story goes, eh.
Well, he went back to school, worked hard took his final exam.
While he was not worried that he had passed, he was very surprised when his results arrived in the mail and he seemed to have received a passing grade of 150%.
He called his instructor and wondered what had happened? Was there an error? Had he passed? What was his mark?
His instructor replied.
Taking apart the engine was worth 50%, and you did an excellent job.
Putting the engine back together was also worth 50% and once again it was expertly done. Everything was perfectly torqued and spot on.
Then the instructor paused and said. "I felt I had to give you an additional 50% as you completed the entire procedure through the exhaust manifold."
So the story goes, eh.his hands always smells like fish and motor oil.
#59
10-22-2009 | 01:39 PM
Registered User
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 35
Likes: 0
The Toronto Star had a couple of funny Leafs jokes on the cover of the Sports section today and online:
http://www.thestar.com/sports/hockey...jokes#comments
Even though I love the leafs, these one's were funny:
1) What did the Leafs fan do after they had just won the cup?
He turned off his Playstation.
2) What's the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a triangle?
A triangle has 3 points.
3) Where would you find the Red Light District in Toronto?
Behind The Leafs Net.
http://www.thestar.com/sports/hockey...jokes#comments
Even though I love the leafs, these one's were funny:
1) What did the Leafs fan do after they had just won the cup?
He turned off his Playstation.
2) What's the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a triangle?
A triangle has 3 points.
3) Where would you find the Red Light District in Toronto?
Behind The Leafs Net.
#60
10-28-2009 | 11:02 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 21,095
Likes: 47
From: Toronto, GTA north
The Costume Party
A couple was invited to a swanky costume party.
The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went......
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished ,naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.
So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.
He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
her - "Did you dance much ?"
him - "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to...."
The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went......
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished ,naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.
So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.
He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
her - "Did you dance much ?"
him - "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to...."