^ah yes, saved the best for last

 

AHAHAHHA, I loved those! "Bozone" has long been a favourite, but Writer's Tramp is truly inspired. I also like the subtle ones like 'fortissimoe' and ' DIOS'.

 

LOL, lots of wit in those Coach. Made me think on some of them!!

 

I was driving when I saw the flash of a traffic camera. I figured that my picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though I knew that I was not speeding.

Just to be sure, I went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now I began to think that this was quite funny, so I drove even slower as I passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed.

I tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing at the idiot technology as the camera flashed while I rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, I got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

 

I always wear my belts. They help hold in my gut.

 

LMAO i do the same, in my 20's.

 

thanks for the laughs guys

keep them coming

 

I came home this morning after work and asked my wife if she wanted to play a bit of a game, she said Sure! I said the game's called turkey, "alright, how do you play she says" I go on to explain, "basically, I stick my dick in your mouth and you try and say GOBBLE GOBBLE!"

and then the fight started

 

When we still had a lot of mainframe jobs printing centrally, the the IT guys were terrible at changing the delivery instructions - reports would just keep coming in the mail for months after people left. I guess somebody got pissed at constantly receiving an old report at his station, so he got the name changed. The mailroom guy was wandering around my floor trying to deliver a report with the following cover page:



(no, there's no such person in the company)

 

Haha, nice. At least it wasn't "Mike Hunt".

 

^ there you go again...it's always about the beaver.

 

... or Hugh G. Rection.

(By the way, whoever thought of making that pic into an avatar is a genius.)

 

So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor. I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT !".
But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you", and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird, and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says: "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

credits to igoogle

 

http://www.maniacworld.com/drugs-you...e-driving.html

 

i dont get it? o.O