UPDATE:
All right, I'm getting closer. Someone referred me to some clown that is a "mobile mechanic." He said it would be $125 to diagnose it and I said "Great, when can you come?" "Oh, it'll be a week or two. Can you drive it?" "I suppose" "It'll be next week before I can get to it, I've got a lot full." "Well, just call me next week when you're ready." "No, you call me, I'll forget." (Uh, huh.) "Are you pretty sure you can diagnose it for $125?" "Oh, it's a hundred and twenty-five an hour" Now I'm thinking, damn I can load the parts cannon for 250 and do pretty good. So I said: "Sure, I'll call you next week. Buh-bye." Of course, there was no phone call, besides, if he has a "lot full", he certainly doesn't need my business.

So, today I installed two new Hitachi MAF sensors and fired her up. (for sure, one of the old MAF sensors was bad) It started right up with no restarts or playing with the throttle and it idled perfectly (I was so happy) for about 3-5 minutes then it started surging from 1100 to 2000 and back over and over. I hooked up the OBD and it wasn't throwing the random misfire code anymore but it did throw a P0507. I have to do some research on that. It makes me wonder why the OBD reader didn't show a bad MAF sensor. I also replaced the PVC valve. I'm going to print out and do the associated "pedal dances" to see if I can do any good.