hahaha.... thanks Swivel, I needed that today

 

backatcha with one....

Remote Island:
A shepherd and his dog are shipwrecked onto a remote Scottish island.
After a few days he decides to explore the island.
He discovers that the only other inhabitants are sheep.
He recalls how his farm buddies would brag how they would sometimes make love to sheep and he says to himself:
'I'll never be that desperate.'

Sooooo, a few days later he can't get those sheep out of his mind, and soon he's sneaking up on the flock.
Just as he is about to pounce on a really cute one, the dog grabs his leg and won't let go.
He snaps to, and thanks the dog for keeping him from making a fool of himself.
This same scene happens every night for a month and the shepherd is really getting unhappy at the dog.
Suddenly one day, the man spies a liferaft bobbing in the surf.
In the raft is a beautiful young girl, half dead but alive. He takes her back to his hut revives her and nurses her to health.
After a few days the girl is feeling fine, and that evening a rush of gratitude sweeps over her....
She confronts the man: 'I owe you my life. I'm yours forever. I'll do anything you want' 'Anything?'

Anything!!' 'OK, hold that dog for ten minutes!!!'.

 

LOLZ!!

Good ones Wayne and Ian.

 

South Florida is being invaded by Quabecians! They are apparently all going to Homedepot as there was 8 cars parked side by side with Quabec Plates!

 

^That would be Quebec.

Florida is a popular choice for snowbirds. Sounds like some have arrived.

 

Yeah, a very popular place for Quebeckers to go. I remember on year when I was down it seemed I heard French being spoken everywhere. There were motels that seemed to have 100% French Canadian occupancy.
Seems it's not only the Canada Goose that migrates south in flocks from north of the 49th parallel, eh?

 

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'

'Go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?

 

I don't get it.

 

^+1

Somewhat amusing story but don't follow the punch line....

 

Ahem... married folks are numb to it I think because it's so common.

Anything else your wife doesn't use? Well, for you once a week types it probably just blended into the status quo...

It's not quite of the same caliber as those other doozies but not bad! Well, for me... because I got it.

 

Boy, and I thought with the cold weather, things in Alberta weren't moving too quick...LOL!!

 

^

dik??

Numb to it- so common????


This one has gone over my head along with your comments guys.

 

lol...
I don't think you understood my reply

 

You and Deane are clearly too subtle (not to mention oversexed) for the likes of me.

 

LOL, if you say so.

Things are pretty good though.